On attracting the opportunities that will best serve you 

By Jocelyn Lovelle

THE ROOT: GO INWARD

My best friend sent me a blanket this year for the holidays. That may sound boring, but this is the blanket of all blankets. It feels like rabbit fur, but it’s not. They call it vegan polyester. 

According to the company’s website, this blanket is made of, “a unique blend of vegan and cruelty-free polyester and spandex, creating our signature hug-you-back stretch.” 

I wasn’t so sure: spandex can never be vegan, and polyester is only sometimes vegan. 

But I didn’t know that before purchasing no less than five of them as gifts. I had the opportunity to get them at 50% off. I like an easy shopping experience, and one that comes with a discount is a bonus.

But liking an experience isn’t the same as finding value alignment. I value transparency in a brand. I value plant-based products over petroleum-based when possible. Do I wish I hadn’t bought them? No. The other foundational values of the company: equity, community support, and giving back, align with my beliefs. 

Do I feel like I compromised my values? A little. And that’s where opportunities can get tricky. We think maybe it’s okay to overlook one piece of an opportunity, because the rest of it seems so good, or, like with the blanket, many other aspects align. 

But misalignment, over time, can wear us down. 

I once worked with a client who had an idea that could help raise voices in a marginalized population, and during the first few sessions we had together, it seemed her personal values tracked mine and those of her idea. After a few weeks of working with her,  I realized she wanted to be recognized for helping this group but did not really care if their situation changed. 

She was after status, not substantive change. 

We continued to meet for another month. Even with her lack of honesty and transparency, I thought I could make it work, but I felt increasingly compromised and anxious each time we spoke. I finally ended the relationship. I was not surprised to notice that after our weekly meetings ended, I started sleeping better, eating better, and experiencing less anxiety. 

Being out of alignment had affected all areas of my life, not just my work. 

Everything is potentially an opportunity. Everything.

So how do you spot and lean into the opportunities that best align with your values–and steer clear of the ones that don’t?

First, get crystal clear on your values. What are your lines in the sand, the non-negotiables, the places where you take your stand?

Next, you need to know what you want and don’t want. It’s just as essential to repel opportunities as it is to attract them. You can start by asking yourself this question and make a list: What do I want from potential opportunities?

Your answers may look like some of the following:

  • Money
  • Recognition
  • Learning
  • Advancement in my field/career/job
  • Growth 
  • Time
  • Resources
  • Community

Once you have your list, get specific.

If growth is one of your goals, ask yourself more questions: 

What am I growing towards?

Why do I want to go in that direction?

What will this get me? 

What type of growth do I want: vertical, horizontal, internal, external–all, of the above? 

Getting specific about what we want and why is key to spotting and going after the right opportunities. As we say in branding, if you’re speaking to everyone, you’re speaking to no one. If you’re open to all possibilities, you likely won’t be able to sift through and find the ones that truly light you up and fully align with your values. And even if you do, you won’t have the energy to dive in. 

We talked last month about boundaries, and this is where healthy self-boundaries come in. When you learn to look towards your values to filter out which opportunities resonate, it’s easier to say no to things that look shiny but are just surface glitter and say yes, with all your energy, to the opportunities that resonate deeply, the ones that will fill you up and lead you further down the path of your why.

Once you begin looking for opportunities through the lens of your values, rather than scanning the horizon for all the possibilities, you’ll be in a position of discernment, able to lean hard into those that serve not just you but the more significant impact of what you value most. 

THE RIVER: OUTWARD EXPRESSION

The lens of expansion and contraction

As a solopreneur, founder, owner, marketer, or anyone in charge of a brand, you may be wary of values after hearing too many people and organizations overuse and under-live the term. But values aren’t something you create; they are words that represent what you believe in the most. It’s why we call them beliefs here at Root + River. Following your values means staying in alignment and authentic with your deepest beliefs.

So at the beginning of this new year, as everyone else is talking about goals and improving the current you, we want to offer up a different route. We like to think of the new year and its opportunities through the lens of expansion and contraction. 

We like to ask ourselves these questions and invite you to do the same: 

Where do you want your opportunities to take you? Do you want them to help you expand or contract? Or both, in different areas of your life. 

We tend to think expansion is inherently good and contraction is inherently bad, but this is not true. 

As we breathe, our ribcage expands as we take in fresh air. Our lungs contract as we exhale a toxic level of carbon dioxide and other gasses. 

We couldn’t move our bodies without muscle contraction. 

Our hearts expand and contract with each beat.

How do you discover where you want to contract and where you want to expand so you can find the opportunities that align with your values?

First off, know what your values are and practice them. As Emily, our founder, asks, “What would you march in the streets for (metaphorically or literally)?”

Then, be open to surprises. When something new comes your way, how does it feel in your body, is it something that makes you feel open and excited or closed and wary?

Next, check in with yourself. We often know when we’re out of alignment, like I did with my client, but we overlook that feeling in the pursuit of something: recognition, money, access, or experience. In my case, I was hoping that working with that client would give me the experience to work with more people in her industry, but it turns out it was time for me to contract a little, to reassess who I was working with and why, and to get clear on what I wanted and did not want. 

It’s the same for all of us and for all of the opportunities available to us. We need to get very clear on the what and the why, and then we can open our arms and our hearts, fully, to aligned opportunities, whether they require us to put ourselves out into the world and shine bright or sit quietly and inhabit ourselves.

Let’s Talk!